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So, the other night was just like any other summer night. A full moon lit up everything with a silvery glow. A moist breeze promised that usual 50 percent chance of rain that's always in the forecast lately might increase to 80 percent. The dinner dishes were carelessly stacked in the sink and the house was surrounded by zombies.
I'd been doing a good job of fending them off, helping to protect a group of survivors huddling in the farmhouse by picking off any of the undead who wandered too close to the door. Suddenly, one of them rushed forward from the shadows, howling ferociously. She was definitely determined to get in, and I could tell that my kung fu skills were not strong enough to stop her. As I went down fighting, quaking with fear, I noticed that this particular flesh-hungry ghoul looked familiar. Of course – it was movie and TV star Sarah Jessica Parker.
I woke from the nightmare the way folks in most movies do it: lurching upright, eyes popping, gasping for breath. I went to the bathroom to wash the sweat off my face, wondering why my subconscious would construct such a horrible dream. Where do these nightmares come from? And what does Matthew Broderick's wife have against me?
I understand the basic function of fear. For the most part, it's a survival thing. We're afraid of things that could hurt us instinctively, or we learn to fear things that could hurt us. That spider I saw in the basement is probably harmless, but my mind may be on alert because there are other creepy crawly things that are poisonous. I'm afraid to go out on a ledge on a building because I know falling off could kill me. Some people are afraid to fly because the situation feels unnatural, because they don't have any control over the plane, or because they might get stuck sitting next to a lunatic.
This all sounds very logical and reasonable to me. What annoys me is when I feel afraid on speculation, without any good reason for the feeling. Do you feel a bit of trepidation when getting on a bus because you read a story about a bus accident the week before? If a fuse blows, do you hesitate before grabbing a flashlight to go fix it just because it's dark down in the basement? Do you feel uncomfortable while walking down a dark hallway, even if you've done it safely a dozen times before? Are you afraid to get out of bed in the morning because – well – you just feel safer in bed?
This is mainly Mr. Imagination doing his job, making sure we're prepared for emergencies. But sometimes Mr. Imagination seems to be working overtime. And sometimes it seems like Mr. Imagination is a workaholic.
It seems logical that we would try to avoid fear, and yet some people go to great lengths to create fantasies to feel afraid. This weekend I plan on attending the "Terror in the Aisles" show in Chicago, a 13-hour marathon of horror movies. The Tingler, Deadly Spawn, Slumber Party Massacre - I can't wait. I don't like to be afraid, and yet I love horror movies. How's that for a contradiction?
Admittedly, there aren't many horror movies that really scare me anymore. I've seen thousands of them, and it's rare to find one that is really scary. Most are really just exercises in morbid fantasy, playtime for the darker corners of the imagination. But I love it when I find one that really chills me.
When I was about 9 or 10 years old, I bought a paperback copy of Frankenstein. I'd gotten hooked on monster movies about that time, and they were having an effect on my reading choices. The book had a color rendition of Boris Karloff's portrayal of the monster on the cover, and I remember being drawn to and repulsed by that image simultaneously. I read the introduction and preface and had to stop. Maybe I was too young, but I felt like the ideas and atmosphere of the book were too creepy to continue.
A few months later, I dug the book out from under my mattress and read it straight through, enjoying it immensely. Apparently I'd matured a great deal in the meantime. Or it could be that I'd had time to absorb the ideas that disturbed me. Possibly my mind had processed thoughts of exhumed corpses and unnatural life enough that I could carry on and explore this area of experience.
Perhaps that's the natural function of our nightmares, whether they're expressed in movies, books or inside our sleeping heads. It's a way of exploring our fears through pretend situations before we have to face them in real life. That may sound like simple pop psychology, but it's more reassuring than the notion that we may just like to disturb ourselves needlessly.
Then again, maybe my subconscious is alerting me to clues I'm missing. Maybe Sarah Jessica Parker really is out to get me.
Be sure to check back in for the next installment of MyBeef when I might be ranting about some other monster from the id.
So, what's your beef? Do you have a recurring nightmare you'd like to be rid of? Do you have a favorite horror movie you'd like to tell us about? Sign up, sign in and start posting your blogs today on NeighborhoodCircle.com. It’s free!
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